Quizzes & Classes

I not too long ago watched a video in regards to the 6 various kinds of narcissism, and located myself fascinated. 

The subject of narcissism is fascinating to me for a wide range of causes, each private {and professional}, and one among my all-time favourite podcast episodes is definitely all about it!

I discovered the video so fascinating as a result of, regardless of having learn fairly a number of books about narcissism, narcissists, and narcissistic abuse, I’d by no means heard somebody break down what Dr. Rami known as the “six totally different forms of narcissism.”

Usually talking, I’m not an enormous believer in inflexible or binary labels and classes. 

It’s very tempting to think about that you simply both are one thing, otherwise you’re not; that you simply’re both this form of individual or that. We people favor to see the world in black and white, as if the whole lot (and everybody) might be damaged down into clear, distinct, and unchangeable classes as a result of life can be less complicated and extra manageable if that was true!

It will be quite a bit simpler if an individual was both good or unhealthy; abusive or form; a monster or an angel. For this reason it’s so upsetting and complicated once we discover out unhealthy stuff about somebody we’ve placed on a pedestal! (Talking of which–and talking about narcissistic abuse– have you ever heard about Andrew Huberman of the favored Huberman Lab Podcast?? Whew.)

Anyway, nuance is tougher to carry than binaries, and it may be troublesome to course of the truth that all of us comprise multitudes (together with the capability for each good and evil), we’re all continuously altering and evolving, and practically each high quality and attribute exists on a spectrum, slightly than inside a clearly outlined field. 

That mentioned, typically having enigmatic ideas damaged down into particular labels and classes could be extremely therapeutic, and precious, as a result of they assist us arrange and course of our experiences, and invite self-compassion and acceptance! 

Having the ability to see issues laid out this manner can usually assist us perceive that we make sense—that we’re not damaged or improper, and we’re not bizarre or alone in our experiences as we’d have beforehand thought—as a result of clearly there have been sufficient different individuals on the market for this label or class to exist! 

For this reason it may be so validating, affirming, and relieving to see your self and your experiences outlined in a chart, check, or checklist. (Consider how significantly better somebody may really feel about themselves once they uncover they’re not bizarre or unhealthy in any case, they’re simply an introvert, or an Enneagram Sort 1, or an individual with ADHD!)

All of that is to say that I’m a bit skeptical when somebody takes a nuanced idea that exists on a continuum, like narcissism, and turns it right into a set of classes and labels. I hate to assume the exact same ideas meant to facilitate therapeutic or liberation may get become dogma and oppression: simply one other set of restrictive packing containers into which we attempt to squish ourselves, or one other set of externally enforced “guidelines to reside and die by.” However as I watched the video, I discovered myself getting excited!

For every kind of narcissist Dr. Ramani outlined, and gave examples for, I felt myself instantly attempt to discover somebody who match the class. It was fascinating to see how enthusiastically and delightedly my thoughts embraced the labels and classes it was being supplied, nearly like I used to be taking part in a recreation!

On a stroll later, I instructed my companion in regards to the video, and we had a completely pleasant dialog speculating who we’d know in every class, who is likely to be a mixture of multiple, and to what diploma every individual “certified.” 

In reflecting on this expertise, I definitely felt like I had realized one thing precious about myself, my experiences, and a few key gamers in my life, but it surely was extra than simply “useful.” 

It was (dare I say it?) enjoyable! 

I notice which may appear to be a bizarre phrase to make use of, given the subject material, but it surely’s true– I discovered the method of placing individuals into packing containers very pleasurable and satisfying, like fixing a very pleasant puzzle. I used to be excited to share what I’d found with my companion, and it was very entertaining for us to check out totally different individuals in every class to see who match. 

To be trustworthy, I believe this is definitely one of many largest advantages to those sorts of categorizing and labeling methods: it might take painful, heavy, scary, or darkish matters that we’d in any other case shrink back from dealing with, and make exploring them really feel enjoyable.

This was truly one of many principal causes I created the 4 Physique Picture Avatars!

It may be extremely onerous to face the underlying cause your physique picture points exist, as a result of these underlying causes are usually unpleasantly darkish, painful, or threatening. Even when your physique picture points themselves are distressing and painful, some a part of your thoughts acknowledges that excited about meals, health, or the way you look should be simpler than no matter is beneath it.

By breaking these underlying causes into tangible and distinct classes, and making a quiz that will help you find your self and your experiences, I’m inviting a unique a part of your thoughts to come back on-line. 

As a substitute of the foundation causes on your physique picture points being stored behind lock and key by the a part of your thoughts targeted solely in your safety and survival, taking the avatars quiz turns them over to the a part of you who delights in categorizing issues and fixing puzzles. And when that a part of you—the half who’s innately curious and play-oriented—joins the social gathering, all of a sudden dealing with that stuff doesn’t really feel so scary!

Need to see what I imply??

I’ve determined to share it publicly now, as a result of I understand how onerous it may be to get your self to have a look at the underlying causes you wrestle with physique picture points once you’re in self-protection mode, and I imagine the avatars have the ability to deliver a way of levity, curiosity, and even playfulness into that in any other case darkish and scary course of.

Able to get your outcomes?